Shooting yourself in the foot!

Jeremy Clarkson – Photo: Wikipedia

Hvis du ønsker artiklen på dansk – så ligger den her.

The debate has been on for weeks about Jeremy Clarkson’s suspension from Top Gear. According to the latest news, it has now been decided to sack him, something which at the same time is done regretably. It has been established that the TV host on Top Gear hit a producer af the show after verbally asulting him for 20 min.

As I see this, there is several who are shooting themselves in the foot – and that very thoroughly. Last year Clarkson had a final warning and thereby meant that no more rantics would be tolerated from him, and if they did, then there would be consequenses. They are here now.

First and foremost I think that BBC should have been profesionel enough to see to, that what allegedly is their biggest star, could get exsactly what he wants to eat, when he has filmed for a whole day. That might be me. If it can’t be obtained right there, it had to be possible to get from somewhere else. Clarkson has worked for them, so many years, that it cannot be a big surprise, that he’s like his steak and chips after filming. It’s again the first time on their part of shooting oneself in the foot. Second time is of course when Clarkson goes of the rails and assults the producer and on top lashes out. One thing is that he rightly (in my view) gets pissed of that he can’t get anything to eat, another matter is to take it to extreemes. When you have seen his behavior before, you’re sadly not surprised. He goes on to make matter totally worse as presumably is not so senile that ha has forgotten the warning he had already recieved.

Now BBC has given him a warning and they feel pressured to act on it and I for one can easily see, that such behavior can’t be tolerated. And I agree. The problem is that they say they want to continue the show – another case of shooting themselves in the foot, as notmatter what you think of Clarkson & Co. there is no Top Gear without him. Forget it! And who would want to take over such a controversial and popular show (which as an exampel has over 1 mill. people sign , to keep Clarkson). Appearantly they have alternatives lined up.

I don’t know what is going to happen regarding May and Hammonds announcement that they wouldn’t continue without Clarkson, we’ll have to wait and hear. No matter what the show is doomed and the best would be to end the show or alternatively all three start up at another channel.

Lastly I’d like to say that I used to watch Top Gear a lot, and I loved it, as I love cars. I just got enough of all three hosts patronising and at time both racist and uncomfortalbe comments so that’s why I haven’t seen for ages. If this is a storm in a glass of water, I don’t know, but first and foremost I guess everyone has backed themselves into a corner, with no way back.

Dad’s, mum’s among others sins, leave their trace – Stop!

Christmas and New Years is often used to make status regarding a lot of things, and this is the case here too. Also about the subject of adoption and that kind of issues. For me personally of course it’s adoption, but the “being left” part dosen’t need to have the label of adoption on it. This is a bit of a long entry, but I hope you stick with me till the end.

Most of those who read my blog knows that I’m adopted. It has never been a secret, on the contrary. You could argue, that with white parents and me being mulatto, some sort of explanation was needed anyway. but I hope and firmly believe that I’d gotten one even if that hadn’t been the case. I have been told the story about how I became their daughter as long as I can remember. That’s the way it should be. Not when the child is a teenager (a way to sensitive age), or when the child is 18 (way too late). You have a right to know where you come from, and you should know as early as possible.

When that is said, I’m not saying, that there can’t be details that children don’t need to hear before they get older. But as far as they ask, they should have an answer that isn’t a lie. If they can “invent” the question, they can properly deal with the answer. That has to be a judgement call but the answer should be as near t the truth as you think is “proper”.

The reasons for me writing this entry is, that I had some answers in my adoptionstory in the year that passed and gerally just thoughts I have had on the subject. Unfortunately, none very good I’ll have to say. But the one answer might explain the other. That I’ll never know, I’m sorry to say. Not on this planet anyhow. One was that I as a last attempt tried writing my biological sister to make sure, she was adiment that she don’t want any contact. She is unfortunately and she’s not going to answer my questions either, but is still of the oppinion that “the past should rest”.

I don’t think so. It’s part of us, men there’s nothing I can do. Later I did get some information, which is part of her past as well, that might explain, why she think it should “rest”. There is a lot Germans think needs to rest and which they are not prould, especillay in connection with 2nd. World War – then I havne’t said too much and you can properly fill out the spaces. But this information is also part of my past, as it’s also my ancestors. Unfortunately I have only found this one information about this in one place and I still need to fill out a lot of blancks. If they’re going to be, I don’t know but I’m still currious. I must admit, I have a hard time believing in finding more information, as there’s not any family or others I can ask. The only thing I can rely on is goverment archives in different places. They are either lacking or defective, or not obtainable or simply lost in the chaos that followd in Germany and other places after a long war.

What should be the conclusion of this, I don’t know. Whatever the reason I can’t make any sense of it. The few times I’ve written to her, she has answered nicely, but has also been very firm in her believe about no contact. I don’t understand, why she’s reacting like this. As I see it, she has nothing to loose. But that’s the way it is. I make no secret of that I feel bad about it. No matter how you look at it, it’s a rejection and that’s never nice. It is only made worse of the fact that I don’t have any other family on that side, as my biological mother passed years back and as far as I know, there isn’t any other family. If there is any relatives from siblings of my biological mothers parents I don’t know. That was one of the questions for my biological sister.

That was a little about the personal side of things. The next I next, was what I really wanted to say with this entry. As most of you know I watch “Sporløs” and I’m almost equally touched every time (and before you ask, yes I have been in touch with them). Another programme series, I’ve started to follow is called “Meldt Savnet” (missing) in Danish and in English “The Locater”, and is sent on the ID channel, but very early in the morning, so normally I record it. I had heard of Troy Dunn (The Locater) earlier, and he is also a possiblity in the businees of finding my biological father potentielly, if what’s going on at present is not succesful. I was very close to writing him, when I had contact to then one helping me now. If anything comes of it, I doubt, but let’s see.

But to stay “on track” I’ve been watching these programmes. Troy Dunn finds missing familymembers in them. When I say family memebers it can be sisters, brothers, daughters, mothers, fathers etc.

After I have seen quite a large number of them, I’m totally in chock over what “well meaning” mothers, fathers, grand parents etc. often do to part children from their mums or dads. Very, very often these parents have been portraitet as bad parents who is not worth knowing, if they have not been lied dead or supposedly chosen to dissapear, when it was actually themselves who refused them access to their own child.

Left behind is children with broken hearts who dosen’t understand and who often feel it’s their fault, that they are left behind. who often feel it’s their fault that they were left behind. Why are you letting your own child down and don’t want to see it?? Children can’t process it or understand, and they yearn for an explanation. We see it adopted children, but here we are also talking about children, who as mentioned above, were separated from their pareents (that could be mother or father or both). How do you in even relatively moderne times, get to a point where you can be that selfish, is beyound me. Very often it has been grandparents who has been pulling the strings and who obviously dominate their children to some awful decissions. It has to be said that these programmes is in USA, where the system is very different. Partly as far as adoption goes but also in terms of it’s far easier to dissapear. But there is lesson in this for all.

Whatever you think of your son/daughter-in-law, ex-husband/wife, the child in this “game” needs contact with her father, mother etc. Maybe you didn’t get along, for whatever reason. Unless there are very serious reasons (addiction, abuse etc.) that the child dosen’t want to get involved. Anyhow when adult it should have the oppertunity to make up it’s own mind. And you can in as neutral a way as possoble tell the truth before and say, that if they still want to, the contact can be made later. Apart from harming the child and the left out parent with the lies, there’s also the risk that you “shoot yourself in the foot”. If I fould out that one of my parents had been lying about the other my whole life and intentionally has kept me from him, I know who I would blame! So for God’s sake don’t. It’s not your decission, but one you have to make yourself with all the information.

Unfortunately there is parents who for reasons beyond me, don’t want to see their children. I have to be honest and say, my heart bleeds for the children, but in a sense, they might be better of without them. They’ll have to deal with that there’s a lot we don’t understand and live with it.

In terms of adoption, I also have to say, it most certainly has to be a last option. In civilised countries, there are reasons as drugs, drink and mental illness or simply illness, but it has to be a last and only resort. Here we haven’t event mentioned the things that are into play, when we’re talking about Undeveloped countries. Thank you if you stayed with me this far, and of course feel free to give me your take on it below.

Uden de store forhåbninger

(scroll down for English version)

Er der nyt spørger du måske? Tjah, på en måde er der, men ikke sådan, at jeg har fundet nogen, men jeg har modtaget lidt oplysninger omkring min biologiske morfar. Jeg ved ikke nok endnu til, at jeg har lyst til at dele det endnu, og jeg “synker” stadig selv oplysningen. Men på et tidspunkt, skal jeg nok dele med jer. Men at sige, at jeg har en broget baggrund, er vist en underdrivelse. Men det gør det faktisk kun spændende.

Min tyske hjælper og jeg kæmper stadig for at få mine biologiske bedsteforældres dødsattest, det har indtil nu taget over 2 år, uden resultat – hvorfor ved jeg ikke, men så svært burde det ikke være, men jeg er klar over, at mange papirer og ting, blev ødelagt under krigen og efter også.

Al den søgen i 26 år, giver heldigvis nogle søde venner online også, og en af dem, sendte mig for noget siden kontaktoplysninger til en herre, der muligvis kan hjælpe i min søgen. Jeg har lige skrevet til ham i dag. Bedre sent end aldrig, men al den sygdom har jo ligesom gjort sit, og jeg forventer uanset ikke, at finde ham i live, eller i det hele taget, at han finde. Dog jeg har lært, man skal aldrig give op, for man ved aldrig. Men det virker godt nok som om, at det er meningen, at jeg ikke skal vide noget om fortiden. To be continued…..

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Thank you!!!

Warren Hill, Monday 8th. September 2014

Se indlægget på dansk nedenfor!

I’ve landed at home, and have even seen “my” own little Frankel at the stables today, which was lovely. But I am tired like approximately 3 retirement homes, so a good thing, there’s no racing this week at Klampenborg Racecourse.

This entry is not as much going over the trip as such, that’ll come but just to give you a bit of a teaser, and most of all to say thank you to everyone for making my trip lovely. The only downside of it was that due to phone problems, I didn’t get to meet up with lovely friends who live over there. I’m putting my hopes in the next trip to Newmarket – as there’s most certainly going to be one.

I met so many lovely people on my trip going there, being there and going home. People are really friendly so here goes: Ayisha & Sofie, from Stanstead, London, Jay from Lincoln, Clive Brittian, Ross (head lad for Godolphin Staples), and the lady who made me aware of the beautiful sunrise from the get go (trainer?), all the riders at Warren Hill and Long Hill for being friendly and asking about my photos, The lovely two couples at Stanstead Airport, who made my wait more enjoyable, the lovely guy standing in que going to France from Marocco and the helpful staff at the airport, when I made a fool of myself (more about that later).

Also a huge thanks to Jean who managed to meet up with Sue and I at the Horse Racing Museum’s Cafe, and Sue for driving up, and also a huge thanks to Katherine from Juddmonte for helping me figure out the booking and stuff for the Frankel Tour and the lovely guides at Banstead Manor.

Last but not least a huge thank you to my lovely, lovely host Linda at Sandhurst B&B and her husband for being wonderful people and perfect hosts. They have now made two trips perfect and I wouldn’t want to stay anywhere else. I can only be thankful for a lovely trip and meeting such lovely people. If I have forgotten anyone (I pray to God, I haven’t) in my “senile” state of mind, it’s far from on purpose More to follow.

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Boycutting BBC Entertainment – you should too!

Not that long ago I was vundering, what happend to Eastenders on BBC Entertainment. I didn’t remember them having a summer break, but then again, to keep track of all these programmes and channels can get confusing, so I didn’t pay much attention to it at first.

Then time pased on, and I thought it should be back now, even with a summer break. No signs whatsoever. So of course being the modern consumer, I went online in search of an explanation. And there it was in Black and White. They’ve taken Eastenders of the schedule on BBC Enertainment. To say I was furious is an understatement, and I’m not the only one, I can tell you. Their messageboards and comments on Facebook was overflowing with angry CUSTOMERS wanting them to change their minds. Their reaction? They just said that from now on any critical comments on the issue was considered SPAM and would be deleted. Sorry BBC, this is my blog and I get to say, what I like here!

They gave economics the reason for closing it down but there must be so many other programmes, that are far less profitable, they can close down. As it is BBC Enertainment is horrible, so I understand why it is not running very well. The only thing on there I saw was Eastenders. Now that they’ve taken that option away, I’m deleting my BBC Enertainment account with my supplier. So many other channels I’d rather watch.

I’ve watched EASTENDERS for centuries now, and off course I’d love to continue doing so. BBC forget’s that we’re customers, although a small country we do matter. Tell them by boycoutting the channel.

All this aside, I think time is way past TV providers and packages and what have you. We want to choose ourselves. Why shouldn’t I be able to see English television if I want to?? These days it’ would be no problem at all, but instead everyone is clinning to their rights and insulting os as consumers. I’m fed up with it. I’ll find a way to see Eastenders, I hope. But for now I’m a very unhappy CUSTOMER!
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Is-vand udfordring/Ice bucket challenge

Jeg har altid elsket Donny og det gør jeg stadig og dette gør det ikke mindre – er han ikke skøn? Jeg ved, I har set disse alle steder, men eftersom, han har været helt speciel for mig, siden jeg var 14 år, var jeg nødt til at poste denne! Bær over med mig og nyd synet!

Udover at Donny er sød og dejlig, så er formålet rigtig godt. Kræft er en slem og helt forfærdelig sygdom, men den er der rigtig meget fokus på allerede. Der er andre forfærdelige sygdomme, blandt andet ALS, som denne udfordring handler om. Du husker måske at TV-værten Eva Jørgensen mistede sin mand – det var til ALS.

In English:
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Dagen i dag startede med skrækkelige nyheder! Som I sikkert alle ved nu, blev Robin Williams fundet død efter et formodet selvmord.

Forhåbentlig viser dette folk, hvor alvorlig en sygdom depression er, hvis ikke de ved det i forvejen. Hvis ikke du selv har haft en depression eller er professionel psykolog/psykiater, kan du på ingen måde begynde at forstå, hvor slemt det er. Så hvordan kan du så udtale dig? Det skal jeg sige dig – fordi jeg selv har haft en alvorlig en for flere år siden.

Heldigvis gik min over og er aldrig vendt tilbage, men hvis jeg tænker på, at skulle lide af det jævnligt eller hele tiden, kan jeg forstå, hvordan nogen kunne finde på, at tage deres liv. Du vil så indvende, at der findes behandling og medicin for det. Og ja, det gør der, men det er bare ikke altid effektivt eller nok – desværre var det tilfældet for Robin Williams. Jeg er sikker på, han fik al den hjælp, der var mulig.

Men vær sød ikke at smide om dig med termen “deprimeret”, hvis du har en dårlig dag eller føler dig lidt nedtrykt. De dage har vi alle, men rigtig depression er en helt anden snak og alvorlig sygdom, som i den grad, skal tages seriøst.

Jeg føler i den grad med dem, som lider og jeg håber, de får den nødvendige hjælp, og lettelse for deres lidelse. Selvfølgelig føler jeg også dybt for Mr. Williams familie, som har mistet en mand og far. Lad os mindes alle de gode øjeblikke Robin Williams har efterladt, og håbe, han har fået den fred, han ønskede.

Let me offer this prayer for all those who are coping with depression, “My prayer on this day is that I receive the graces of hope and fortitude during this time in my life. Help me to make it through those moments when I feel like giving up. Hover over me, God, with guidance through my thoughts and through my dreams.” —Caroline Myss

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Pære-, spinat & roqfortpizza

Jeg har før nævnt min begrejstring for Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall’s opskrifter, og ikke mindst udsendelser på TV. Nyeligen har der været udsendelser, der fokuserede på frugt – der er selvfølgelig også en kogebog, men for nu at komme til sagen, lavede han i den her serie en pizza, der fangede min interesse.

Nu kan jeg høre folk spørge – jamen spiser du ikke vegansk? Det gør jeg for langt størstedelens vedkommende, men jeg har altså ikke endnu fundet et alternativ til ost, der gør, at jeg ikke bare engang imellem vil nyde det. Der er alternativer – i udlandet, men vi er langt, langt bagud, og indtil jeg får energien til lige at kaste mig over “gør det selv” projekterne, så er det altså den gammeldags slags. Jeg kan ikke, mere end jeg kan, og det må gå i mit tempo, sådan er det. Jeg gør da stadig min del ved ikke at spise kødet, og det er jo mere end mange gør. Og så elsker jeg ost, og har altid gjort. Til gengæld, leder jeg højt og lavt efter oste af god kvalitet og uden animalsk løbe. Pizza uden ost, er det meget sjældent, jeg finder glæde ved, og jeg behøver vel ikke fortælle, at jeg elsker pizza. Den første og eneste gang indtil nu, er pizzaen beskrevet her. Jeg vil blive ved at udforske det veganske og håbe vi i de danske butikker får flere muligheder.

Tilbage til pizzaen! Den blev god, rigtig god synes jeg. Jeg lavede lidt om på den, ikke fordi der var noget som helst galt med opskriften, men fordi jeg havde en mozarellakugle, der kaldte på at blive brugt, så nogle skiver af den indgik også. Det var den eneste ændring og så at jeg ikke skrællede min pærer og lidt frisk timian fremfor muskatnød. Det kan du selv bestemme, om du vil gøre. I konstruktion er min pizza lidt anderledes end Hugs, men jeg er sikker på smagen er nogenlunde ens, men jeg vil klart lave den igen og næste gang gøre helt som ham. Og jeg har jo en undskyldning, for jeg har to portioner pizzadej i fryseren. God fornøjelse og som altid hører, jeg gerne, hvad du synes. Hvis du er skræmt ved tanken om at lave pizza selv – don’t be! Det er faktisk noget af det letteste, og slet ikke svært, når man lige kommer igang og med Hugh’s lette dej, slet ikke noget problem. Sæt igang!

Pizzadejen, er den samme som her ved Hugh’s pizza med Rødbede og løg.

If you prefer the recipe in english, you’ll find it here.

Forvarm ovnen til 250?C hvis din ovn kan blive så varm, ellers 220C. Put en bageplade ind i ovnen for at varme op.

BEMÆRK: At opskriften er på 3-4 pizza’er. Dejen laver du bare, og fyser resten i portioner til en anden gang, men hvis du kun laver en pizza, skal du skære ned på fyldet.

Forberedelsestid: 25-30 minutter.

Tid i ovn: 10-12 min.

Portioner: 3 pizzaer, og hver pizza 2-3 personer

250g durummel
1 flad tsk. salt
1 tsk. tørgær
1 spsk. rapsolie eller olivenolie, ekstra til smøring af pladen

Fremgangsmåde – den magiske dej:
Hæld de to meltyper i en skål, sammen med salt og gær. Bland godt. Tilsæt olien og 325ml varmt vand og bland til en grov dej. Put mel på dine hænder. Hæld dejen ud på bordet og ælt rytmisk 5-10 minutter, indtil den er glat. Den er lidt løs og klistret, og sådan skal den være – brødet bliver bedre på den måde – prøv ikke at tilsætte for meget mel. hvis du kan.

Den bliver mindre klistret når du ælter. Sprinkel lidt olie i en ren skål, og put den æltede dej deri og vend den så den bliver dækket af olien som en let film. Dæk med et viskestykke el. lignende og placer på et varmt sted til hævning til dobbelt størrelse – mindst 1 time, nok nærmere 2.

Når dejen er godt hævet og luftig, vendes den ud og slåes tilbage ved at prikke i den med udstrakte fingre indtil den kollapser til tidligere størrelse. Den er nu klar til at blive formet.

ca. 500g spinat, fjern grove stilke
2 spsk olivenolive, plus ekstra til at sprinkle over
2 løg, skåret i kvarte, skåret i tynde skiver
2 næsten modne pærer skåret i tynde skiver
Lidt frisk revet muskatnød
(her lavede jeg en ændring og kom lidt frisk timian på min pizza istedet)
Et nip tørrede chili flager (jeg undlod, det er valgfrit)
250g Roque Fort, Danablue, Gorgonzola etc. vælg din favorit, jeg brugte lige her denne*.
Havsalt og friskkværnet sort peber

Svits spinaten i det vandt, der hænger ved, efter du har vasket den, indtil den falder sammen.

Hæld i et dørslag og lad det køle af. Varm 1 spsk olivenolive i en pande og svits løgene og lad dem simre i ca. 10 minutter eller indtil de er helt bløde.

Vrid spinaten for at fjerne væde og hak det groft og mix med de varme løg. Smag til med salt og peber. Sæt til side.

Pil og skær pæren i kvarter og skær hver kvarte over i to stykker.

Skær det største stykke i fire og det lille i to stykker.

Put dem alle i en skål med 1 spsk. olivenolive, muskatnød, og chiliflager, hvis du bruger og lidt salt og peber. Ryst godt for at dække.

Hæld dejen ud på en let melet flade, og prik i den med fingerne, og lad den hvile et par minutter. Skær den i 3 eller 4 lige store portioner. Rul den ene dej ud så tyndt du kan.

Tag den varme bageplade fra ovnen og hæld lidt mel eller polenta på og put dejbasen på pladen.

Pust 1/3 (eller 1/4) af spinat og løgblandingen på pizzabunden og put pære og Danablue på i samme mængder.

Sprinkel med lidt mere olie og lidt peber.

Bag i 10-12 minutter, indtil den er boblende og brun i kanten.

Gentag med resten af dej og fyld.

Repeat to make the rest of the pizzas with the remaining dough and topping.

Server med det samme!

*På selve osten stod, den var med vegetabilsk løbe, men på hjemmesiden står der bare “osteløbe”. Nu har jeg skrevet til Thiese omkring det.

Racism: A History [2007] (Racismens historie)

Denne udsendelsesrække blev vist på DR (Racismens Historie), og jeg ville gerne have kunnet linke til den på DR, men som ofte, er den fjernet igen der. Heldigvis for Youtube, hvor jeg fandt den! Jeg vil mene, at den er til at følge selvom, man ikke er superskrap i det engelske. Billederne taler jo sit helt eget forfærdelige sprog langt henad vejen.

Det er fakta, jeg håber, de fleste vil finde fuldstændigt afskyelige, men endnu mere det faktum, at det søges skjult af diverse regeringer og embedspersoner. Jeg troede vitterligen vi var kommet videre, men i nogen tilfælde, er der langt igen. Se selv – jeg så sidste del i går, og havde kvalme bagefter, mere end jeg allerede havde i forvejen!

Update om min søgen/on my search!

Min biologiske mor Hildegard Charlotte Weide

Det er ved at være længe siden, jeg har skrevet noget om min søge efter min rødder. Det er der en meget simpel forklaring på. Der er ikke sket noget! Jeg har gjort lidt. Har blandt andet haft en sød dames hjælp i forhold til at prøve at finde ud af mere om mine bedsteforældre i Tyskland, og har også været i forbindelse med lidt mennesker i forhold til min biologiske far – altssammen uden held.

De sagde for 1½ år siden, at de var ved at omlægge arkiverne (med hensyn til mine bedsteforældre) så der var ventetid. Den tid er jo så for længst gået, og det virker som om vi bliver holdt hen. Hende der hjælper mig, har samme erfaring i forhold til andres søgen, og jeg er så sur! Det er bare ikke i orden. Jeg ved snart ikke, hvad jeg skal gøre! Vi har skrevet, ringet, skrevet og ringet og forfra igen og intet sker. Hvor klager man sin nød??

Så er der hele spørgsmålet om min biologiske far. Stadig intet nyt der, udover jeg nu prøver at poste en poster i nogle grupper på facebook, og så må vi se. Nu har jeg lige fået at vide, at der ikke er nogen let vej andet end at tage og indskrænke det og så prøve at ringe rundt. Vi taler mange, mange tusinder, hvis ikke mere. Nu må vi se, det virker helt uoverskueligt og jeg kan ikke se, hvor jeg skal få dels tiden og dels kræfterne til det fra. Men jeg må prøve så godt jeg kan, og så må vi se. Nu har jeg postet de indlæg ihvertfald.

Der er meget mere at sige om emnet og også hele adoptionsdebatten som bliver ved at flyde i mere eller mindre kønne strømme rundt omkring. Det er snart svært at vide, hvad man skal synes om det. Der er lige så mange meninger, som der er adopterede og adoptivfamilier og biologiske forældre. Det der gør det svært er jo, at hver eneste barn og de berørte har en særlig historie og derfor er det som med meget følsomme emner svært at lave generelle regler, hvilket man jo dog er nødt til i systemer.

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