Dreams and expectations


Saturday came. The day before we’re to celebrate my old dad. It’s going to be nice but at the same time, so much more different that I’d have liked to do it. Normally I’m totally satisfied with my day to day life and the opertunities I’m given. I don’t miss anything although there’s things I’d like. But in this situation I’d liked to have been a successful something, so I could have inviteted everyone to a nice resturant and spoil my dad the way he has done for us so often. I’m doing my bit and do the cooking etc, but it’s just not the birthday I could have wanted for him. But he’s decided what was going to happen, and this is what he wanted, and then maybe have another do later….. we’ll see, I’ll just have to do my bit and see to that everything goes as well as possible, and then that’s it. Get the best out of the fact that I’m not “loaded” 🙂 If that wasn’t enough I’m totally out of ideas for a present. I was honest and told him, and we agreed that he’ll get a “gift voucher” for me coming and making him some prober food, as that’s a bit of an issue. He thought that was a brilliant idea, so it’ll proberly be it and when I think about it the best gift actually! Might get him a bit ekstra in terms of a film for his new DVD player.

My dreams – not expectations as I was accused of, was shatterd yesterday by “him”. He sent a very hurtful sms, and we had a long and not very encouraging talk 🙁 He was actually anything but nice, So now I’m left with this sick feeling to be stapped in the back (so to speak) of a person I trusted. I just hate that feeling of being so vonurable, dissapointed and sad. Not that I haven’t tried it enough times before and far worse than this. But still – You know how it goes :-\ But if nothing else, we might finally get things talked through and if he’s serious and meant what he said then I don’t need to spend more energy on that. But it was not what I dreamt and I didn’t expect him to threath me like this. He said we should continue the talk on Monday!!! 🙁

On the other hand I had a lovely talk with one of the netfriends. We were around the subjects a bit and again we ended up talking about music. I’ve just discovered – yes, yes I know I’m not that fast :-” – Youtube, and think it’s brilliant. So I started to look for clips in climbing numbers. Lovely and not leas was it fabulous to discover that we have mutual teenage idols :d (his favorite is not in this clip though). I found a video with dem yesterday that I thought was really lovely and as we talked about it has to be (it was 50 years this year) the worlds oldest family band. With that I’ll wish you a lovely weekend, for tomorrow I’m out of the door faster than….. and I’m going now too. I hope the music puts you in a better mood for right now I’m not in the mood for anything, but it normally helps. If your’re already in a good mood it should go up anyway. They can stil make me melt. And yes they sang it before any of the others 😉